Never Let A Man Steal Your Confidence

Hey loves!  This week I’m sharing a motivational vlog for all of the ladies out there who have allowed their self-confidence and worth to be diminished for the sake of a relationship or situation-ship. Ladies, never, EVER let a man steal your confidence in yourself. You are all beautiful queens and you deserve to be treated like the Queen that you are. Listen to the video for more on this topic.  ~Videllia

Or you can listen to it on Soundcloud here:

Day 21: I AM Enough

“You are ENOUGH; do not let anyone tell you differently.” ~Videllia Davis (that’s me haha)

I was following one of my fellow bloggers, Ms. Juni Desiree and she had a post a while back titled What One Thing Do You Want to Say?

In it she discusses a question posted by Jeff Goins on his blog:  If you had one thing to say to the world, what would it be.  He challenged his readers to come up with their own thing as well.

As I read her post and commented my one thing, it provided me inspiration to write this blog.

So if I had one thing to say to the world, I would tell the world that: you are enough; do not let anyone tell you differently.

Oftentimes, we as people, struggle with our ability to see our worth in ourselves.  We struggle with feeling like we are enough.  Perhaps, I’m making a false assumption thinking that you all struggle with this so I’ll just speak for myself.

I grew up being raised by my grandmother.  My mother was in the world at the time and my father was barely in my life.  Though I would see my mother on occasion, I did not truly have a relationship with her.  Though my father would occasionally send me a birthday gift, I did not truly have a relationship with him. In fact, my brothers and I even spent some time in child protective services because we had no other place to go.  Thankfully, my grandmother took us in soon after, though, she had her own issues with raising us as well.  I loved my grandmother – God rest her soul – but she often was abusive verbally and physically to my brothers and other relatives.

So then began my struggle of feeling like I’m enough. I often struggled with insecurities because I felt like if I’m not enough for my own parents to want to raise me then how can I be enough in this world?

I began to move through life seeking validation from everyone and everything.  I challenged myself to be the best academically, going on to win the 4th Grade Spelling Bee, being Valedictorian of my 6th Grade class, Coca-Cola National Scholar, Fort Worth Links Scholarship Recipient, President of several clubs in high school, and graduating Valedictorian of my high school class.

Fast forward to college life, I met a guy and got engaged to him.  He became my world. I made him my world.  My everything.  I desperately wanted so badly for him to see my worth and feel like I was good enough.  Soon after, I discovered that – well let’s just say that I discovered I wasn’t his type (mmhm).  That crushed me from inside deep places that I never even knew existed.

And those feelings of not being enough continued onward.  I entered additional relationships after that, each leaving me more broken than the first.  I found myself being attracted to guys who were verbally and emotionally abusive towards me, who threatened my safety, who made me fear them and I stayed with them all far too long all because I wanted to feel like I was enough.

I began to seek my validation from them, from the title of being their fiancé/girlfriend, from the comments and likes they got when they posted a pic of us on social media that I lost sight of the most important thing.


You see, my worth, my validation, my approval – all of those feelings that I kept striving for – I discovered are ultimately rooted in Christ.  I am enough just as I am, flaws and all.

I’m reminded of a movie that came out in 2001.  You may remember it. It was titled “Enough” and starred J.Lo.  I googled a quick synopsis of the movie on IDMB and the following summary popped up:

“After running away fails, a terrified woman empowers herself in order to battle her abusive husband.”

I like this summary because you can tweak it for any insecurity you face as you struggle with your own feelings of not being enough.  I’m going to tweak it here to show you as an example but I encourage you all to do the same – if you ever struggle with not feeling like you’re enough, write down this statement and post it somewhere so that it can serve as a constant reminder that YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. EXACTLY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE.

“After running away fails, a terrified Videllia empowers herself in order to battle her feelings of insecurity.”

“After running away fails, a terrified Videllia empowers herself in order to battle her lack of confidence.”

“After running away fails, a terrified Videllia empowers herself in order to battle against seeking the approval and validation of others.”

“After running away fails, a terrified Videllia empowers herself in order to battle against feelings of not being good enough, not being adequate, not worthy.”

After you’ve done that and have listed out your own sentences, I want you to write down the sentence one last time, except now, I don’t want you to complete the sentence as I have done below.

“After running away fails, a terrified Videllia empowers herself.”

Focus on that word, “empower”.  My prayer for you all is that you find the strength to empower yourself through any negative feelings that may be getting you down.  Empower yourself knowing that you are ENOUGH.


#KnowYourWorthChallenge:  DOUBLE TAP IF YOU PLAN TO READ TODAY’S POST ON MY WEBSITE.  After you’ve finished reading it, your challenge for today is to come up with your own statement of empowerment.  (You’ll know what I’m referring to if you’ve read the post J). My statement in the post was, ““After running away fails, a terrified Videllia empowers herself in order to battle against feelings of not being good enough, not being adequate, not worthy.”  Comment your statement of empowerment below.

Copyright © 2017 Videllia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Day 16: You Deserve More

“Stop losing sleep over someone who isn’t losing sleep over you!” ~Videllia Davis

And in case you didn’t get it, I’ll repeat it. Stop losing sleep over someone who isn’t losing sleep over you! You deserve more so save those tears.

I shared that quote on December 30, 2016 to my Instagram page. I was sitting at home reflecting on 2016 with all of its successes, triumphs, mistakes and tribulations. One mistake was that I had exerted too much energy on a man who seemingly showed no interest in me. He’d hit me up occasionally and claim interest but it never went beyond that. I’m sure my friends were tired of me mentioning his name. One of my friends even went so far as to say, “V” we don’t even need to mention his name anymore because he’s no longer relevant (lol that girl is hilarious!).

But she was right! When you know your worth for yourself and are confident in the value that you bring to the table, you will stop settling for someone who can’t see the wonderfully amazing person that you are. You deserve so much better than inconsistency and him/her treating you like you don’t exist OR that your feelings don’t matter. In fact, you deserve more and that “more” is waiting for you just around the corner!


#KnowYourWorthChallenge: People often say that they feel so good after they have cried their heart out. The reason being is because when we cry our bodies release endorphins – our bodies own natural pain killers – thus making us feel better and helping alleviate the pain we feel. Well I want to help you find another way to cope with your pain. Another way we can release endorphins is through exercise or physical activity. In today’s challenge, I encourage you to put down that tissue and do something physical. Whether it’s a jog, walk, dance class, etc., know that you can AND will overcome this pain inside.

Copyright © 2017 Videllia Davis. All Rights Reserved.