Future Husband or Nah – Part 3 (“Crazy Eddie”)

I’m 27. Single. Woman of God.  Believer in the Christian faith.  But the men I meet? Boy oh boy.

or nahIf you’ve been following my blog these past few weeks, then you have already heard about Crazy Eddie.  (If you missed Parts 1 and 2, catch up here).

So the next day, I’m at church when I get a text message.  Who was it from? Yep, you guessed it. None other than Crazy Eddie.  He tells me he wants to take me shopping (what is it with this dude and thinking I need him to spend money on me?).  I decline.  Then, since it was the Superbowl, Eddie  invites me to watch the game with him. However, he invited me to  the strip club to watch it  (WTHeck dude? I already said no to sex, no to you sending me pics of your chest, but you really gone think I’mma want to go to a strip club with you? Smh).

I turn him down AGAIN (obviously).  He doesn’t take it too well but at this point I could care less about how he feels.

The following week, I meet up with my homegirl at the lake.  We’re walking around and having some girl chat. I showed her a picture of Crazy Eddie.  Her response was an instant, “giiirrrllll, leave him alone! He’s crazy.”

I laugh. “Yeah I know girl, he won’t leave me alone.”

“No, he’s really crazy,” she says. “He tried to talk to my homegirl.”

Now what now? What are the odds? Small world…

“Really?” I asked.

“Yaasss.  She met him a while back.  He said he worked at a dental office or something and he kept trying to hang out with her, buy her stuff, acting very stalkerish,” she explained. “Did he tell you where he worked?”

“No, I didn’t care enough about him or his life to even ask,” I replied honestly.

“Well, yeah girl, be careful, cuz she said he was crazy.”

Hmm…now I know what you all are thinking right? Was this the exact same dude that her friend had dated or was she mistaken? Yeah, I had the same question…so of course I had no choice but to investigate…

I didn’t text Eddie because as you all know, his crazy behind, (ugh, it’s really hard not to curse when I’m referring to him lol.  That’s how much he worked my nerves, but I’mma keep this thing holy…)…so yeah, his crazy behind, always texts me.  And sure enough, the next day, I received the following message from Eddie:

“Hello, so how’s the most beautiful woman in the world doing today and what could I do to help put a smile on your face or make you happy?”

(Ugh! Even his text messages were annoying me but I had to be nice…I mean, how else was I going to get some information out of him?)

“Hey there and thanks. I’m doing good today, how are you? What is that you do?” I reply, pretending like I care but in all-reality, I just wanted to know where he worked.

“Management dental office,” he says.

GTFOH!!!!!!!! Wow! Who would’ve thought?! Guess my homegirl was right lol.  I was just  like wow, how crazy is this lol.  So it has officially been confirmed that this is the same certifiably crazy Eddie that my homegirl’s friend had talked to.

I never replied to Eddie after that.  The next day he invites me to come visit him at the dental office (why, so you can stab me with the teeth cleaners or strangle me with the dental floss? Lol, naw that’s okay boo-boo).

I still don’t reply to him.  At this point, I’m just hoping he gets the hint and just loses my number. Ooh, or better  yet, his phone catches on fire and my number burns up right along with it lol.

Three days later (now February 13th), I discover that he neither lost my number nor did his phone catch on fire, because he texts me and asks me out to celebrate with him. I reply that I already have plans.  He responds by sending me a text with all of these angry, evil-looking emojiis (you know the ones with the mean faces and stuff? Yeah, those…). I just laugh and keep going on about my business.

The next day (now Valentine’s Day), I wake up and get all dolled up. I mean, it is Valentine’s Day after all, and my girls and I were determined to still have fun even though we were single (see that post here).  I get ready to head out the house to go to work. I get to work, put my car in park, when my text message tone goes off.

I reach for my phone, pick it up and I see that not only do I have a text from Eddie…but I also have a picture…one that leaves my mouth hanging wide open…

Tune in, next week,  for the final conclusion of Crazy Eddie, what was in that text he sent me, and how I was FINALLY able to get rid of him once and for all…I’m telling you this last part is one for the books and definitely one you do NOT want to miss…

-V.Davis

 

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