Well it’s that time of year again – the time when all the couples post their lovey-dovey photos on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter showing us their gifts and Valentine’s day happiness (or at least the pieces of it they want us to see).
Then you have the sad and depressed singles – those who go around talking about Singles Awareness Day, staying off all the social media sites so they don’t make themselves sad or bitter by the gifts that all of their friends received.
Then you got me.
I’m not currently in a relationship…but I’m also not bitter. For what? Because I’m single? I’m actually single by choice – because I CHOOSE to wait for God’s very best man for my life (see that post here). And just because I’m in the waiting phase, doesn’t mean that I have to be sad or bitter that I have to go home alone. It also doesn’t mean that I have to be angry and upset because I have no one to buy me a teddy bear, or tell me he loves me, etc.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I used to get sad and lonely in those years when I wasn’t in a relationship. However, as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve learned how to just celebrate and enjoy the season of life that I’m in. And that’s what I want to encourage you to do.
You see the world will have you thinking that being single is a disease, a plague of some-sort. They ask you stuff like –
To a Man:
- So what’s wrong with you? You must be like all those other men out there who cheat on their women.
- When are you going to settle down?
- You’re 30/40, not married AND you have no kids? You must have commitment issues, huh?
To a Woman:
- You’re so beautiful, why are you single?
- So what’s wrong with you?
- When are you going to hurry up and get married, have some kids? I mean, ain’t like you getting any younger.
- Honey, have you found yourself a good man yet?
- Throw on some makeup girl, fix your hair, put on a sexy dress – how else do you expect a man to notice you?
- Do you think a man’s going to want a woman who won’t have sex with them? They want to test it out before they buy.
I mean dang! Give me (and all of us) an effin’ break!
My life is not tied into my relationship status or whether or not I have a man or kids. My validation, my worth, who I am as a woman – it doesn’t come from those things. My validation and worth come from God.
So what I don’t have anyone to hold me at night? Jesus comforts me whenever I need him AND he’s consistent! (which is more than I can say about some of those men/women out there.)
So what I don’t have anyone to tell me he loves me? God loves me so much so he sent his son to die for my sins. (John 3:16)
So what I don’t have anyone to tell me I’m beautiful? God says that even my flaws are beautiful to him. (Song of Sol 4:7)
So what I don’t have anyone to kiss, touch or hold me? Jesus touches my heart and spirit like no other. He kisses away my tears of loneliness when I have those temporary moments of sadness. (Rev 21:4)
So when folks ask me those silly questions about why I’m single, here’s what I say…
No…there’s nothing wrong with me.
Thanks for thinking I’m beautiful but I’m single because right now God wants me all to himself.
I will settle down when God sees fit for me to settle down and I will not rush or hurry to do so.
I’m getting older but I’m not OLD yet (I’m 27 years old for Pete’s sake – I think my eggs are still in good condition for now). God’s timing is just not my timing. He will send the right person when he’s ready and that person will also not compromise my purity.
Hmph!!! I guess I told all of you huh!
In all seriousness, I’m a hopeless romantic and I actually love Valentine’s Day. I think it’s beautiful to see all the outpouring of love from all the couples and side pieces (oops did I say that?). But at the same time, I want to encourage all of my BEAUTIFUL, SINGLE PEOPLE out there to not be saddened, bitter, lonely, or discouraged on this day.
Simply put – just CELEBRATE YOUR SINGLENESS! No one says you have to have a date to show yourself some love! In fact, my homegirls and I decided this year that we would celebrate our singleness together. We decided to get all dolled up and hit the town. We will lavish each other with gifts and include encouraging notes to motivate us as we continue on this single’s journey. Sure we may get some crazy looks tonight, like “oh, those must be the ladies without dates” (lol) but nonetheless, we will be the FLYEST, BADDEST single women you ever did see!!!
My goal for today’s post was not to bring awareness to the fact that I’m single (and ready to mingle! lol). My goal was to encourage someone out there who may be feeling down, disheartened, discouraged, doubtful, sad, bitter, or lonely on this day. Don’t give up hope. I don’t want you sitting in the house, avoiding all social media sites just because you don’t have that companionship right now.
Instead, go out and create your own fun!!! Your time may not be now but as long as you continue to trust in God, he will continue to supply all of your needs AND your heart’s desires.
And yes that includes blessing you with that loving, tall man dipped in chocolate with the goatee and muscular body…(oh wait…sorry…looks like some of my own thoughts started coming out…I digress lol…). Just know that God will see fit to send you that special one when the time is right. You just celebrate your season in the meantime.
Okay, but seriously, why are you still reading this blog?!! I told you to get up, go out and create you own fun!! Now go!! And if you need another single to help you celebrate, hit me up! 🙂