“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.
As a woman of God, I often struggle with believing in my worth. I KNOW my worth. I KNOW the Bible tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I also KNOW the Bible tells me I’m worth more than all the rubies in all the world. I KNOW this. But, I don’t always BELIEVE it.
Maybe you’re like that too. Maybe you know your worth but don’t actually believe in yourself. For me, I know I’m a good Christian woman. I try to live a life pleasing to God in every area of my life. I serve in his Kingdom and serve his people consistently, both inside and outside of the church. If you ask any of my friends about me, they would tell you that I have a big, caring and giving heart. I love to help people and inspire them.
Not only that, I also cook (pretty well I may add), I keep a clean house and I don’t entertain sex before marriage. Of course I’m not perfect but I do KNOW that I’m a good woman. But when I meet people, whether it’s men seeking some kind of “relationship” or women who are seeking friendship, I tend to doubt those very things. This lack of belief in my worth has definitely caused me to make some poor choices in relationships and friendships (as you’ve read in some of my previous blogs). Then, one day, reality hit me. “No one can make me feel inferior without me first giving them my consent.” And that was the theme of the first topic of the book: The Significance of a Kingdom Woman.
A Kingdom Woman is Valuable to God’s Kingdom
The book opens by telling us that “women are naturally gifted to influence and impact the world” (pg 4). It’s encoded in our genetic makeup by the Creator. This was a reality check for me. I know sometimes I get so caught up in the whole idea of “what kind of lasting impact will I leave on the world” that I try to go above and beyond. But God is telling us that we, as women, have a naturally ability to embark change. Therefore, we don’t have to try so hard Ladies!
Once we can accept the fact that we are the catalysts to changing the world, we can walk into the belief that we are essentially valuable to God’s kingdom. That means that God values you as a woman, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a wife, a co-worker, etc.
Women are the catalysts to changing the world. That makes YOU essentially valuable to God’s Kingdom. ~V.Davis
In fact, God values YOU for just being YOU. YOU are essential to his Kingdom. You were created by God to advance His kingdom and His glory. In fact, your only duty is to live out your life in a manner that reflects God (pg.7). You are his representation. Therefore, stop focusing on trying to please every Tom, Dick and Harry out there! You are already on the right path by simply walking in obedience to God.
A Kingdom Woman Does NOT Have to Be Like Other Women
Okay, I’m calling myself out on this one – I am GUILTY. I must admit that I struggle with this area. Sometimes, I sit back and daydream how differently my life would be if I were, say, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, the girl at church who is always dressed to the “T”, or heck, even the co-worker at work who’s always wearing the latest red bottoms (which I still don’t know how she can afford given we make the same salary lol). But I have to check myself when I have these kinds of thoughts. God didn’t create me to be Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, the church girl or my co-worker. He created me to be Videllia. And that has to be enough for me.
God didn’t create me to be Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, the church girl or my co-worker. He created me to be VIDELLIA. And that has to be enough for me.
Chrystal points out that we women tend to spend more time analyzing what we are not or what we don’t have than recognizing who we were created to be. Instead, we must desire to be the woman God created us to be–not the woman whom we think we want to be or the woman the world tells us we should be (pg 10). She goes further to state that we don’t have to seek anyone else’s approval for the life God has given us to live. Instead, accept that this life is unique and was only given to you and no one else. Does that mean it’ll be easy? I wish! But while it doesn’t mean an easy life, it does mean that every trial, tribulation, setback, comeback, and blessing was uniquely designed so that you can be the one-of-a-kind woman you were made to be. Learn to embrace your uniqueness, wear it like it’s the most expensive item you own and go ahead and walk this catwalk called “Life” with a fierce umph in your step! Rip that runway girl!
Embrace Your Value
The final few pages of this first section deal with embracing your value. This impacted me the most as it is my current ongoing struggle. Oftentimes, I struggle with not feeling like I’m good enough or even worthy enough. I struggle with this the most when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. I always blame myself for when they cheat, lie, etc. Like what did I do (or didn’t do) to not deserve your love, trust, loyalty and respect. I know we weren’t having sex but you said you could wait until marriage. Maybe next time I should just give in? Then will I be worth it? Then will I, and I alone, be enough for you?
But you know what? Thoughts like that are nothing but Satan trying to tear me down! God says that I’m worth more than any treasure. I was considered worthy when he first shaped me in my mother’s womb. And I don’t have to give in to the ways of the world in order to be enough for someone. I am already enough in Christ. He created me to be fearfully and wonderfully made, to be significant, valuable and worth more than jewels.
I am FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE!
I am SIGNIFICANT!
I am VALUABLE!
I am WORTH MORE THAN JEWELS!
Mr. Evans states that “one of the most important truths you need to believe concerns your worth…guard your value by first making sure you view yourself according to the value God has given to you” (pg 14). In other words, you can’t just KNOW it ladies. You have to change your mindset to believe in you and view yourself as God views you.
I’ll be honest – I’m not completely there yet. But I am working on it. Working on changing my mentality towards myself. And I encourage you to do the same! Remember, Satan can have no power over a woman who disagrees with his schemes! (pg 14)
Prayer: God, today I disagree with the enemy’s lie that I’m inferior, that I’m not enough. This day I will see myself as You see me – a kingdom woman formed in Your image. Amen. (~paraphrased from the Kingdom Woman Devotional, Days 1 & 2)
Are you excited yet? Can you tell my excitement from this blog? Haha. I am definitely excited to embark on this journey and I invite you to join me as I share my thoughts and as God reveals more of himself to me during this time. As always I will be candid and transparent about my own life in order to help and reach someone else out there. Together we can learn to become whole in ourselves as Kingdom Women! Afterall, “there is nothing like a Kingdom Woman fully formed! (pg 14).
(Check back next week for an in-depth discussion over Chapter 1 – A Woman of Value).
© Videllia Davis – “I Am Me”. All Rights Reserved.